Supervised

It’s been a long hiatus – yes! I didn’t realize how long till a friend, in the midst of our conversation discussing his internship suddenly went, “Btw, there's this blog which I used to read but then the author got abducted by aliens: http://vaishnavinair.blogspot.com/.” 

Having thus driven home the point so effectively, here goes the first post on my new beginnings stands dedicated to you, S.

K, for waiting so patiently for a new one to arrive after discovering this place, contenting self with reading the older ones over again till then, and providing such enthusiastic feedback, here’s to you too. Welcome to Amo Ergo Sum.

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Why did I take so long to write again? Only keeping this blog alive with sudden musings and one shot stories?

Because all my time and energies were occupied by The Internship. For the sake of anonymity (digression: I have none, I now realize. Googling Vaishnavi Nair delivers you nicely to this page. My sole comfort - a background check by the FBI need look no further) I shall call my ex-workplace, The Bank. A very Big and Important Bank, it is. On my level, I saw and observed how the Universe revolved around the many Important Executives engaged in Important Sounding Work that revolved around improving The Bank's fortunes. It seemed to me that what they did lay the foundations of any self-respecting Banking phenomena. Every thought, word or sneeze changed destinies. The world was powered by, ran on, The Bank’s shoulders.

So the time I didn’t spend being impressed, I spent trying to not be insignificant. For an intern, many might expect that to be a tall task. True, I had to try hard. But then again, there was immense help from SG.

Now, this abbreviation can represent many things; the initials of the guy I spent my entire middle and high school years being teased with, the place where I'm pursuing my degree and... Supervisor Glorious.

Do you notice a significant departure in nomenclature? I don't call him, (yes, it is a him) The Supervisor. No, that name couldn't do justice to his magnificence. For Mr. Glorious, as his (nick)name suggests was a grand man. He was smart, sufficiently intelligent and surprisingly young. Moreover, to his advantage was the fact that he was one of those whose smiles reach their eyes. Right away, it feels like The Bank had switched on another three-four lights. He also possessed the knack of terrific impressions - maybe it was just me but - somehow the entrance of his six foot frame into a room or a conversation appeared to immediately lift the tone and tenure of everything anyone was doing just then. 

And how he loved clearing doubts, which I (as usual) had plenty of! Concepts became instantly simplified and actions promptly procured logical reasons. And he had an exceptional way of making you feel empowered and motivated. Many times after a conversation, I had to shake myself to remind that I am only an intern and the work I do can't possibly be life-changing. But then in a while, he'd drop into my cubicle again and all the sane logic I'd drilled into my head till a moment before would at once evaporate into thin air. 

If I had to pin down his biggest strength however (and he does have many - sense of humour, quick mind, oodles of charm), it is that he gets people. It seems a simplistic statement but man, see him in action. "Work, at the end of day, is about relationships, people. Always about people." He had told me early on. And that he implemented extraordinarily well. Watch him as he defines an aura that demands your unconscious trust, respect and friendship. That has you looking up to him (literally and figuratively) and makes Christmas come early as he praises. An acute observer can often clearly see the poster stuck to his back that reads, 'Especial specimen. By order, The Universe.'

Yep. I got very lucky. As a future boss, I have much gloriousness as a role model. And finding a mentor like him makes green moons sound ordinary. 

Yes, I got very very very lucky.

Let me provide an instance to validate the effusive praise.

One Monday,  SG dropped by my cubicle late in the evening to review my project. I had sent in the presentation previously so when he walked in, I apprehensively asked him, "Do I still have to run you through the slides?"

He plumped on the empty chair next to mine and grinned mischievously, "Nah, you can walk me through them." 

"A poor joke, Sire!" 

He shrugged, "go ahead?"

I nodded. Clicking through the presentation, I began explaining the details and findings. Suddenly, I paused and remarked reproachfully. "You aren't laughing! Look at ___________, that was to get you laughing during your tiring day!"

"Oh." He peered at the screen closely, rubbing his eyes; those exhausted ones suddenly brimming with mirth."Terribly sorry, I didn’t see-"

"Clearly indicating that someone here needs spectacles and a new sense of humour." I said, my nose in the air. I turned to the laptop screen, only to turn back a moment later. "IDC, by the way, is an abbreviation for International Data Corporation."

He stroked his chin. "Interesting."

"Again, I don’t see how that piece of information has changed your life even the slightest bit." I merrily said, remembering my previous review in which I faltered at his demand for knowing what IDC stood for.

He laughed. And I inwardly sighed in relief. It finally looked like the project was drawing to a close and had satisfied his requirements. It was the third time he was reviewing. Each had ended with him suggesting a variety of other factors I could consider. While SG would then catch the shade of my troubled countenance and brush it aside going, "It's okay. It's okay. That's how you learn, this is good stuff." I was bugged no ends up by how perfection seemed elusive. It was so easy to overlook such obvious points. How aggravating.

That evening though, SG had no further suggestions. And I knew I was right truly done with the project. In a week's time, I would present before SG's boss and then probably close the deal forever.

Apparently, the closure called for a new project. SG called me over to his cubicle to brief.

I listened carefully to all that he said. 

As he began, I made much sense of it. Then slowly, little by little started going over my head. In about five minutes, I was perfectly clear that this new project? It was big. Yes, the responsibility and results arising from it were tremendous and tangible. 

Only, I had no clue what to make of it. 

He stopped short. "I'm excited, seeing this." He continued to look at his computer screen. "You?"

I nodded mutely.

He turned to me, a curious expression playing on his face. "Overwhelmed?"

"Well," I said slowly, debating in my head how much propriety allowed to confide in him. "Well..."

"Well, what?"

"Intimidated, apprehensive, might be good words." I said in a rush.

He raised his eyebrows, as if demanding a further explanation. A half-smile still on his lips.

I took a deep breath. "Glorious, the first project was small. Tiny even, compared to this. And yet... yet, you had to review it three times to correct me." I paused. "Mistakes after mistakes, corrections after corrections..." I was vexed at what appeared as my incompetence. 

"But that's how you learn!" He exclaimed.

"At what cost?" I demanded. "This isn't University right? I can make mistakes there, what I lose is just a grade! My grade. Affects only me. But here?" 

"How is it any different here?" He asked. "You are responsible for your own work. And if anything goes wrong, what is the maximum that can happen? The bank loses money. Thats it? It can be set right. Trust me."

I wasn't convinced. I looked away. What about the Important Sounding Work which the Universe seemed to revolve around?

"You know what is important? Love, friendship, family. Health. Something amiss there and your entire life is thrown off balance. A corporation losing money is natural. The world doesn’t stop because the work here takes a breather. We are not that important. Make some, lose some and hopefully you and I are part of the former.

 But again Vaishnavi," He tilted his head, "mistakes show me that you're trying, making an effort. You're right. This isn't school anymore. The only way to learn is by trying, failing and learning from those exertions. It is expected of you. Many people don't even try. You do, and that’s huge. I appreciate that. Besides, do it right the first time – trust me, I'd fall off my chair."

I gave a small smile.

"Take it from me," SG continued. "there's nothing that we do here, I repeat, there's nothing that we do that you cannot do with the experience, skill and knowledge you have right now. Everything is extremely logical and simple, even the finances. Maybe I'll do it quicker-"

"Way way way quicker!" I exclaimed, interrupting him - reminded of the many times he solved my Excel, Powerpoint (and any other) troubles in a click and jiffy. 

"But that’s only because I'm used to it! Give you two days and you'll do just fine. You'll take my place" His eyes crinkled. "Just remember to own your work. Sure the responsibility is higher, but make it yours. Be proud of what you've been entrusted with and what you shall accomplish. And mistakes..."

He looked at me keenly, as if reading all the thoughts, questions and misgivings my brain was brimming with. "Here is what my first manager told me -It is your job to make mistakes, it’s my job to correct them."

He smiled then. 

Remember how I said it always felt like a few extra lights have been switched on? With that line of his, it truly felt like I had been promised three lifetimes of no electricity cuts.

He grinned. "Never, never ever let the fear of failure, fear of mistakes keep you from trying something, taking up an opportunity. That’s why I'm here anyway, to correct you and guide you along. Again Vaishnavi, not just here but anywhere, don't let the fear of failure bog you down. Because love check, family check, friends check, health check… then in the truest sense of the word, you really have nothing to lose. Now, excited?"

I nodded, beaming broadly from ear to ear. Looking back, I'm suspicious I bore a high resemblance to a clown, but no matter.  

"Good. Very good. So madam, my time is your right yep? Whenever, wherever you are stuck, stop my work and demand your due. I owe you that." 

"I'll hold you to that." I laughed. 

"Yes... 8:40?" He looked at his watch and demanded suddenly. "Why are you still in office? Now go, run, pack up!"

And I did. I scrambled to shut down my computer, gather my things and get away to claim my night.

But in ‘the truest sense of the word’, I suddenly had claimed many life lessons capsuled into ten minutes. I had already glimpsed gloriousness. I knew what takeaways I would have as the internship drew to a close.

Whether significant or not, I was completely inspired to put in nothing less than the best into The Bank. I was there to make mistakes. Someone was there to correct them. And while my time and energies were thus otherwise occupied (even eating into blogging), my enjoyment levels peaked. The Supervisor, Supervisor Glorious had seen to that. 


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Sir, if ever you do chance upon this piece (as unlikely that the odds are - if otherwise, I'd have dedicated the post to you, see? B-) ), I'd like to use this chance to say Thank you. Thank you for your patience with my ubiquitous ignorance. Thank you for trying your best to remove it, make me smarter. Thank you for letting me feel smart for the work I did. Thank you for teaching me that going with my heart is great as long as I don't leave my brains behind. Thank you for all the laughs, for removing my fears and for being the brick wall of support. Thank you for treating me as an equal. It was a pleasure boss. And above all, an honour.