You can only live so cautiously. There is only so much you can do to keep yourself shielded from ogres and regrets. Because they will find you somehow. And the more cautious you've been, the more hounded you will be when they creep from behind and tantalize.
You need to evict them from your life of course, to continue living sanely, happily. But for that, you need to look at them straight in the eye and welcome into your heart. Tell them you learnt so much from that completely-unnecessary-uncalled-for mistake than you would ever have gleaned from all the adventures that heros, neighbours, friends, foes and any random person on the planet plunged into. Tell them you learnt so much because they were your mistakes. And so are the realizations and understandings that follow them around. Given a chance, true, you wouldn't want to meet them again. The hurt, pain and sorrow crush sometimes. Literally crush. But tell them, that you know in your mind and that your brave heart speaks too, that they were really worth the trouble. You were pushed to a mess, you burned and cried and wished you weren't you. And then the phoenix emerged.
You didn't know you were a phoenix, capable of an ethereal rise such as this. Until they appeared in your life, you didn't know how much strength and courage and love, life hid so remarkably in your special folks, hobbies and work.. that life hid in you.
So you welcome them into your heart. Because you truly love them. They are a part of you as much as the cherished hopes and materialized dreams. Your heart is their rightful home too. Accept.
And in your heart, they will grow so comfortable... that they shall forget to taunt, and forget their very nature. And you continue to live your cautious life knowing fully well that you are attempting the impossible. Thankfully, the impossible.
We never learn as much, unless we learn for ourselves.
You need to evict them from your life of course, to continue living sanely, happily. But for that, you need to look at them straight in the eye and welcome into your heart. Tell them you learnt so much from that completely-unnecessary-uncalled-for mistake than you would ever have gleaned from all the adventures that heros, neighbours, friends, foes and any random person on the planet plunged into. Tell them you learnt so much because they were your mistakes. And so are the realizations and understandings that follow them around. Given a chance, true, you wouldn't want to meet them again. The hurt, pain and sorrow crush sometimes. Literally crush. But tell them, that you know in your mind and that your brave heart speaks too, that they were really worth the trouble. You were pushed to a mess, you burned and cried and wished you weren't you. And then the phoenix emerged.
You didn't know you were a phoenix, capable of an ethereal rise such as this. Until they appeared in your life, you didn't know how much strength and courage and love, life hid so remarkably in your special folks, hobbies and work.. that life hid in you.
So you welcome them into your heart. Because you truly love them. They are a part of you as much as the cherished hopes and materialized dreams. Your heart is their rightful home too. Accept.
And in your heart, they will grow so comfortable... that they shall forget to taunt, and forget their very nature. And you continue to live your cautious life knowing fully well that you are attempting the impossible. Thankfully, the impossible.
We never learn as much, unless we learn for ourselves.
2 comments:
Lovely post, Vaishnavi. True healing comes from accepting the mistakes we've made and learning from them.
Jai
Thank you Jai. And true learning comes from making those mistakes, I guess.
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